That '4-Page List'! (Part 2)

"I will stand my watch

And set myself on the rampant,

And watch to see what He will say to me,

And what I will answer when I am corrected.

Then the Lord answered me and said:

'Write the vision

And make it plain on tablets,

That he may run who reads it.

For the vision is yet for an appointed time;

But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.

Though it tarries, wait for it;

Because it will surely come,

It will not tarry'. "

Habakkuk 2:1-3

This may sound amazingly boring, but I work best with lists and enjoy planning. It helps my high desire for order. However, while I have reached some of my goals in life, how I got there…..was never the way I planned. It never stops me from planning. The only difference now is that I know my plans will change or include changes and I am much more flexible to the changes God is doing. I know that if I stick to my plans, it causes me to rely on me and we all know God is not on the same page. He is a God of adventure to me. Never boring. He wants us to trust Him.

So while I had my '4 Page-List' (as some may call it) of my desire in a man, God had taken me to a place of enjoying my singlehood, which I never thought was possible. A time in my life that I began to seek the heart of God like never before. It was two years after that period that I met Stan. Just when I was getting a bit too comfortable with being single and more self reliant, God changed my situation.

An honest suggestion from my uncle, that led to a joke with a friend that ended as a dare to try Christian online dating was the beginning of how Stan and I met. A sarcastic 'how desperate do you think I am' on my part caused a 'why not? What do you have to lose?' from a friend. Seemingly insignificant events were God’s way of showing me His hand in my life.

I met Stan online in 2010, two years before my journey of ‘enjoying my singlehood’ began. I never had a boyfriend before that. I believed in making lots of friends - both guys and girls, and discovering myself as a person and what God had purposed for my life. After my first, short relationship ended when I was 26 (2011), God did a major work in my life. In that short relationship, I discovered things about myself that I knew God had to work in me. I knew I could not go on in life with my bag of insecurities ruining my self-worth.   

Throughout my seasons, Stan was a friend that would wish me for my birthday and Christmas and vice versa. Nothing romantic, just a good friendship. The whole time I did not realize just how much he liked me.

On his side of the world, in Florida, he had told his friend, Anthony, in 2010 about me and how he would love to be with someone like me. His circumstances at that time did not allow him to visit me, which was great cause it would have freaked me out. Little did I know that God had much to work in us before we met. We remained friends for 4 years.

In the beginning of 2014, Stan started to hint that he wanted to visit me sometime. I told him jokingly ‘unless the money fell on your lap’, not realizing Stan took that statement seriously. Out of the blue, Anthony called him and said that he is at a casino and asked Stan to pray for him. If Anthony got money at the slot machine, he will send money for Stan to visit me. Long story, short – Anthony won money and sent Stan a cheque and shortly, Stan came to visit me in Malaysia on July 2014. Who would have thought a casino? I guess we can never put God in a box. 

After knowing Stan for 4 years online, with countless emails, Facebook messages, Facetime and Skype chats, I finally met him for the first time at the lobby of the hotel he was staying in. I walked into the lobby with my head down - reading a text from my sister telling me that she will call me in between to give me a way out if it was really bad. Smiling at her text, I looked up to a man smiling from ear to ear. I had never seen anyone look so thrilled to see me. Overwhelmed, everything inside me said turn around this guy is not a usual type. Fighting it, I walked up to him and gave him a hug. Stan was so nervous that I felt him trembling a little when we hugged. Especially after knowing him now, I definitely know that I must have really made an impression to give him that kind of reaction. It took us seconds to warm up to each other. Totally ready to immerse himself in my culture, I did not realise I was slowly beginning to fall for my Haitian-American. 

Based on our financial situation, my move to work in Australia, the long distance and how crazy our circumstances were, so many things made it seem like this relationship would not work. It would literally take a miracle. Little did I know that I was already part of a miracle. What happened in the 7 days was life-changing....