The Single Woman: '14 Reasons to Celebrate Your Singleness This Valentine's Day'

Happy Valentine's Day all!!! Wooohoooo! By the way, am still very much single and am enjoying where I am at. I still hear the groans of singles from all the Facebook statues to bitter comments and the excitement of couples. I groan sometimes too. I do not blame singles for feeling the sting of Valentine's day cause the media slams it in our face and the overly happy Facebook statues that are mushy does get to you at points. Today however, lets celebrate being single. I always celebrate Valentine's day with my girlfriends or sisters. Having an attitude of celebration and not self-pity really makes our day great. If you ain't feeling like celebrating....perhaps one (or a few or all) of these quotes by Mandy Hale (aka 'The Single Woman') will speak to you. She named this '14 Reasons to Celebrate your Singleness this Valentines Day'. Some of the reasons gave me the 'hey! Thats exactly how I feel!' moment. By the way, my personal favourites are number 9 and 14. To be honest, it is not always easy being single especially when most of my friends are not in that stage of life. Having said that - I have never enjoyed this stage more than now. These quotes are just a fun way to celebrate this stage of life. The reasons to celebrate your singleness this Valentine's Day is:

1. Because you're so brave, you'd rather walk alone than with someone who is unworthy of you.
2. Because you realize that you are the cake & a relationship is the icing.....& with or without the icing, a cake is still a cake.
3. Because you've created a life that you love & feel no need to be rescued from.
4. Because you pay your own bills, plan your own day, chart your own path & make your own way.
5. Because you love when you're ready......not because you're lonely.
6. Because you live life on your terms.....& you don't apologize.
7. Because you know that YOU have to learn to love you before you ask someone else to.
8. Because "good enough" isn't good enough for you.
9. Because you've decided that whether or not love ever arrives you're going to thrive.
10. Because your happiness, worth & self-confidence is not dependent on your relationship status.
11. Because you trust in God's perfect timing, you know that every moment of wait if preparing you for the one you're waiting for.
12. Because for you, settling is not an option.
13. Because you know it's no one's job to complete you, fix you, or validate you. It takes a healthy 'me' to create a healthy 'we'. 
14. Because before you're ready to wear a diamond, you want to become one.

Singleness is a journey and marriage is NOT a destination. It is just another different journey. Hale describes it as 'a wild, beautiful, colourful journey'. I believe that journey is dependent on what you choose to believe, your words and actions. Love the journey you are on....never regret not celebrating every stage of life.

Lets celebrate! 

Me :)

'What am I forgiven for?'

Psalms 103:10 – He has not dealt with us according to our sins,

Nor punished us according to our iniquities.

I am chosen. Wait you do not get it….*pause*…..I – AM - CHOSEN. The God of the universe wants me. He chose to bestow His grace on me! I do not deserve it. None of us deserve it. If I was suppose to write my sins out…..I would be a definite candidate for a sinner. We all are. You may say “I am not a sinner. I do good things”. I’ll save you the time… ‘have you ever had a bad thought of a person or want something that is not yours?’ You may think that is nothing…..but that is the standard….anything that is bad is sin. High standards? You need to understand that because God is good, anything less than good is not what a good God should condone right? I’m currently reading a book by Ray Comfort called “Hell’s Best Kept Secret” (got to love the title!). The writer blew me away with the way he brings an understanding to the problems we have in church today. The focus is on how the Law was not given for men to save themselves (like the pharisees) but as a measure of just how desperately we need God. “The Law:

1. shows us our guilt before God and stops us from justifying ourselves.

2. brings to us the knowledge of sin.

3. defines sin and the depth of our sin. The apostle Paul didn’t even know what sin was, until the Law told him! (Romans 7:7)

4. was designed for the very purpose of bringing men and women to Christ”. The Law shows us how far we are from being righteous without Christ, therefore leading us to Christ always. 

"Do we then make void the law through faith? 

Certainly not! On the contrary, we establish the law" (Romans 3:31)

If we did not have the Law, we would not be grateful for what Jesus did for us on that cross and how He overcame sin. The writer sums the chapter up by saying that churches should stop preaching man-centered or feel good sermons but preach the standard that God has set (yes, the Law) as a wake up call to just how much we need the grace and mercy of God. We link the Law to being bad cause the pharisees were the ‘bad guys’. But here is the thing, God used the Law to set the standard. If we did not know the standard (the Law or the right thing to do), there would be no boundaries. Boundaries keep us from drowning. 'God's moral laws are not abolished by the gospel of Christ. Rather, the whole plan of salvation, including Christ's obeying the Law for us and dying to pay the penalty for our breaking the law, shows that God's moral standards are eternally valid' (from NKJV study bible). Hell’s best kept secret is that the Law needs to be preached for people to understand true repentance. 

When God looks at me, He does not see my sins and iniquities. He sees the woman of God He has called me to be. The blood of Jesus covers a multitude of sin. My question to you is, “do you truly understand what you have been forgiven for?”. Look at the standard set and realise that you have been forgiven much (just take sometime to stop and think). It includes the little white lies, the bad thoughts, our self-centeredness, our laziness, our disobedience, etc. Jesus was sent as our role model and no matter what religion people are, they acknowledge the sinless and perfect nature of Christ. Christians are not perfect, we are forgiven and desperate for the power of our perfect God to work in us. That’s when you realise just how much our God loves us and how amazing His grace and mercy is. He has called us Children of God. Understand the Law, you’ll begin to understand a little of the huge price that was paid.

Distractions!

Things (including thoughts) that keep you from your purpose, goal, aim or just something you need to get done. Your distractions. Sometimes those distractions could be ‘things that you need’ or ‘good things’ like work, spending time with people you love, studying, church activities. Sometimes those distractions are ‘things you want’, ‘useless but enjoyable things’, ‘not good things but you just got to do it’, etc. Like the internet (games, Facebook), phone, your friends, partying, shopping. I am not saying some of these are bad but excessive use or time wasted doing them is bad. All these things can be distractions. If you are a student, when studying – having your handphone next to you or the chat section on Facebook on is allowing distractions. Tempting yourself when it is going to be a losing battle. I write this as a person who has been so distracted with work. When I’m taking a break from it, I turn to a movie, friends or sleep. Cause hey, I need time out! It is like the psalmist said in Psalms 7:15 “He made a pit and dug it out, and has fallen into the ditch which he made”.

With my new year, striking a balance in my life has been tough. It took a good wake up call for me to pay attention to my ‘spending time with God at my own convenience’ habit. I started the year telling myself, ‘in whatever you do, do not let anything take precedence when it comes to your relationship with God’. And of course, that was my first big test for the year. I am not sure if you spend time with God only when you have the time like you are doing Him a favor, you pray only when you need something or you pray just for blessings for yourself, family and work. I pray that all of us desire to continue to reach a higher level in our relationship with God and learn not to just ask but praise and thank Him for the Awesome God that He is. We are called to be salt of the earth and light of the world. Our aim is not only having a deep relationship with God but reaching out to the lost and dying world. Distractions come in many forms – do not let it deceive you. If you are praying and seeking the Lord, the Holy Spirit will speak to you of the things that consume your thoughts and time. Let us bow and submit our heart, minds, will and emotions to God and He will raise us up on wings like eagles. So to all my lovely readers, let us rise and take our place. With purpose and destiny, make the step to give up things that are distracting or change our prioritize to put God first and everything else after Him. Change is hard but so amazingly worth it when its for Him. I assure you, your life will be transformed.

My prayer for you is that you be “like a tree planted by the water, that brings forth its fruit in season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever you do will prosper” (Psalms 1:3). Water represents the Word of God. When you are planted in His Word, you will bring forth fruit with leaves that will grow/flourish and whatever you do will prosper. Oh such wisdom! Remember the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Rise!

Have a great week.

Me x

Change, you give me the heebie-jeebies!

Change is a constant. I made my new years resolution but sometimes the challenges of the new year make the difficulties of the last year seem like a walk in the park. Ever felt like that? I'm not sure about you - but God is stretching me. Its a rather difficult and sometimes painful process of refining that requires a change in the way I look at my situations and circumstances. As James says "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing", James 1:2-4. In my personal walk, the promise of Isaiah 54:2-5 causes my spirit to soar but my soul to be crippled by the fear of the process. The promise that He will:

“Enlarge the place of your tent,

stretch your tent curtains wide,

do not hold back;

lengthen your cords,

strengthen your stakes.

For you will spread out to the right and to the left;

your descendants will dispossess nations

and settle in their desolate cities."

“Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.

Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.

You will forget the shame of your youth

and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

For your Maker is your husband—

the Lord Almighty is his name—

the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;

He is called the God of all the earth." --- Isaiah 54:2-5.

The words 'do not be afraid' were given to men and women in the Bible before something big happened. Mary, Joshua, Joseph, etc. I also realise that they had great faith for the unprecedented events that they had been placed center-stage in. These lives show me that through Christ, all things are possible. Trusting and holding on to the promise of having a greater influence and having God with me through it all is where I find strength. The knowledge that His grace will always see me through is what I keep in my heart. My new years resolution is to have an intimate relationship with my Saviour, be a person that is changed beautifully inside-out and equipped for His good work. Having tons of fun in the process is a given ;).

Celebrate Him :)

The gift of Christ is so unique and when you unpack this gift.....it is full of surprises! Its the kind of gift that opens into another gift, that gift into another and this keeps going on. The best kind of gift! The first gift is opened to all....its whether you want to receive that Gift. It is life-changing when we accept Him as our Lord and Saviour. Today we celebrate the gift of Christ together. From every part of the world, people look to the Father to thank Him for His Son, Jesus Christ. Gosh, how much I love this God who loved me before I did that He sent His Only Son for such a messy and painful affair. I pray that this Christmas, in whatever situation you are in, that you celebrate His life. Enjoy your family, friends, food and presents but ensure Jesus is in the center. It makes the best kind of celebration :). 

Love, 

Me :) 

P.S Blessed Christmas.   

Spring-Cleaning!

Spring cleaning! In Malaysia we do not experience spring therefore I never quite got why we call it spring cleaning in my sunny/rainy-all year round-country. In actual fact the term spring cleaning was coined to describe ‘the practice of thoroughly cleaning a house in the springtime’….. it ‘refers to the yearly act of cleaning a house from top to bottom which would take place in the first warm days of the year typically in spring, hence the name’ (thank you Wikipedia for the help). Anyways, I find it quite interesting how this tradition of doing a major clean-up before a new year or a warmer time has been a common practice in different cultures. There is the Jewish Passover (celebrated to remember the journey of the Jews out of the land of Eygpt into the Promise Land), Iranian New Year (Norouz), Chinese New Year, etc. I believe the major clean-up is symbolic to put the old year behind and start the year fresh!

In my family, the major clean-up is before Christmas and the New Year. We change the curtains, dust, fix, throw-out, wash, sometimes buy new furniture and (in my case) get rid of old clothes to make room for new ones (yay!)– it all happens at the same time, early to mid December. Of course you do cleaning in the middle of the year but its nothing like this ‘heavy duty cleaning’ in December. It’s the time you discover the whereabouts of the dress you accused your sister of losing, the unworn-shirt that you just couldn’t leave the shop without purchasing/ just knew you HAD to get it there and then!, the gift from someone you cared about and is not in your life anymore, the journal that you wrote when you were ‘Oh so young’ and now you think ‘I was oh so naïve’ to ‘if I only knew then, what I know now things would have been far less painful’, etc. Somehow when you find these things – life becomes a little clearer and in my case, I become so much more thankful. Other than finally going through all my junk, throwing tons of stuff and having a much cleaner room, I thank God that to some measure I’ve become wiser. I was able to let go of many things in my past that cluttered my space, thoughts, heart, and took a little of my strength. Being able to leave the year that I grew so familiar with….from the smells, sights, sounds and the ‘organized’ mess (that only I could find my way around) to fresh, new, optimistic new beginnings of a new year is a great feeling. This was a good year but when we get too comfortable we do not make room for God to do a brand new work in us - to enable us to do great exploits. The challenges of a new year can excite or cause fear. Starting on the right note helps.

Looking heavenward is a good way to start the year even if the year doesn’t turn out the way we want it to. We know that He is in the year and He will carry us through if we allow Him too. What does God have in store for 2014? I’m excited with what He wants to do with me next year. I’m trusting God to work the impossible with you and me.

Enjoy Christmas and the gift of giving. Celebrate Christ.

Shalini

Character vs. Comfort

If you had to choose, would you pick character over comfort or vice versa? If you were asked to go to a poverty stricken community to help for an unspecified amount of time and were told that you would not have an easy time but you will come out of the experience totally changed (in an amazingly good way of course *smiles*). No educational institution or book would give you such a life-changing education. Would you go or would comfort hold you back? Honestly, I would pick character but its easy to answer when I have comfort. God has blessed me abundantly and I am not in want. Its definitely a gift from God. What if those comforts were taken away? Would my answer be the same. I’ve been serving in church since I was 11 years old (minus 1 or 2 years in between). But I’ve never served in hard conditions. The thought of doing missions work is something that I know will not be easy for me. However I do know I will be deeply involved in it one day. I pray to God that when the time comes - a deep, passionate desire to go wherever He sends me will burn within me.

There are decisions we make everyday in which we unconsciously choose either comfort or character. I’m sure there is a blend of both in some decisions. However there are decisions that clearly show what we treasure - whether or not we should go the extra mile for someone else, make a stand or not, take up a task or not add more to our plate, pushing through the tough time or giving up, etc. There are times we want the easy way out but perhaps those tasks are there to develop our character (if you are the sort that does not know how to say no, this is not for you. Learn how to say no sometimes). We are the only ones in our way to becoming more like Christ. Romans 13:14 says ‘put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts’. We give the devil too much credit when our God has given us the tools to overcome through His Word. Whether its our mind, will or emotion that is in the way, the Lord has given us a guide to overcome. Sometimes it’s ignorance, lack of prayer or lack of trust that are in our way. I guess that is when we choose foolishness over wisdom. We should step out of our comfort zone. I’ve learnt that my obedience to the will of God is the wisest way to live life. However sometimes I’m stubborn but ‘when I fall on my face, I fall on His grace. I’ve got no excuse, I run to Him’ (from the song Run to you by Unspoken). When you choose His will which is to put on Christ everyday and be in line with His purposes for your life, you choose character. Trust in Him, you will breeze through it and find joy in the hard times.