Disappointment with God

The craziness of the last few months finally ended last Saturday. I could finally relax with a good book (and now with my blog). I looked into my dad’s bookshelf and my eyes were drawn to a book entitled ‘Disappointment with God’ by Philip Yancey. My initial reaction was ‘yikes! It looks interesting (especially since its by Yancey) but can one say they are disappointed with God!?!?’. Ah legalism….it always has its way of making us feel like we are better if we say and do all the right things. I knew I had to pick up the book to read. On this journey of being honest with myself and allowing God to work with my unconscious legalistic patterns, I find that answering questions about how I really feel and what I really struggle with can be very difficult. Questions that will take a lifetime answering (or may not be answered)…..here I found myself being challenged.

As I read, I realised the little things or events that have caused me to be disappointed with God. Its causes you to question if God will come through in certain or other situations. Does He really care? These could be events you never realised affected you. Small or big. They may have caused you to slowly and steadily lose your trust in God. It may have started with being let down by a friend, the divorce of parents, the loss of someone very dear to you, problems with dealing with a secret sin, heartbreak, an accident, etc. Most of the time, it does not happen all at once. The disappointment builds until there is questions about whether or not you could trust Him and if you ever did believe in Him. Some pretend that their okay with God but they really have some major issues with Him. Being honest with your disappointment is part of the healing. 

I began my faith in God through the bible teachings of my parents, relatives and church, then I met God in my situations and circumstances, I heard Him in my quiet time and even in the calmness when I was in a storm, etc.. But as I grow, my relationship is more about faith in the unseen than seeing and believing. Trusting even when He says ‘wait, it isn’t time’, ‘walk away and do not look back’, ‘we will deal with this issue together. One step at a time’, ‘it’s your ego that is bruised. You do not need to defend yourself in this state. Walk away’, ‘walk into this new thing that I have for you. Do not fear’. Bad things happen but God protects His people. There is a process of breaking the unwanted things to refine us. Even in pain, He will be with you. Your situation and circumstance may not be the way you pictured it to be. But continue to pray, trust and obey. He is with you. That is a promise.

I have not completed the book but I will fill you in on how this book has inspired me. Have a great week.

Me xoxo

The day I stopped asking God for clarity

"Lord, just tell me what to do. I really need you. Just one more time".....silence. No reply. The closer I get to God, the more He is teaching me to trust Him. "Be still and know I am God". Most of the time, I think I have everything together and then suddenly, I doubt myself and my decisions. The thought of making a blunder freaks me out. Its like what if God wants me to learn from this or something. What if its painful. I have this nagging feeling that I might make a decision that will bring me such unhappiness that I will regret it. Oh my complex brain!! Don't worry, my brain doesn't analyze everything that goes on. These come in flashes. If you know me, you would see a women who loves God but I want to show you that we all have weaknesses in trusting God. Anyways, the article below brings things into perspective and I pray it helps you. And yes, God does not promise a painless and problem free life. But He does promise that He will be there with us and He has given us tools to get through. We are more than conquerors. Be blessed. 

The day I stopped asking God for clarity

http://forteebello.com/2014/03/14/the-day-i-stopped-asking-god-for-clarity/

I pray you are blessed by this article.

Easily Entangled in the Web that can be Untangled

“If you wish to travel far, fast and light.

Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness,

selfishness, and fears” (guilt too) – G. Clark.

Unloading the baggages of the past is a process. Sometimes there is just so much more attached to the baggage than we could have ever imagined. “Do not go through life with baggages”. We all know that! Somehow familiarity sometimes beats the option of having to deal with our flaws/sins/ordeal. I honestly couldn’t and cannot do life without Christ as my role model and guide. He is such a vital part of who I am and how I deal with life. We tend to get so easily entangled in our own web of lies, rejection, lust, etc. that we are not able to move beyond due to our own guilt. Our guilt, unforgiveness, fears, selfishness, envies and jealousies keep us from enjoying life cause we are too entangled (consumed) in the web that we unconsciously/consciously have spun for ourselves.   

The Bible is a book that tells the story of our Saviour fighting a kingdom for a bride (which is us). Probably why we are so naturally drawn to fairytales. We are part of this story and it ain’t a fairytale. Christ has made a way to save us. However, we are the heroines that seek answers in the dark when the Light wants to show us the way. Jesus will come for His bride. Are we ready or are we too busy being tangled in our own bad decisions? I assure you, we will fall. Its in our sin nature but we are overcomers. Lets break out of the web that we are so easily entangled in and step out in faith that Christ, who endured the cross, will get us through this. For He overcame death therefore that same power that lives in us causes us to be overcomers. 

The Single Woman: '14 Reasons to Celebrate Your Singleness This Valentine's Day'

Happy Valentine's Day all!!! Wooohoooo! By the way, am still very much single and am enjoying where I am at. I still hear the groans of singles from all the Facebook statues to bitter comments and the excitement of couples. I groan sometimes too. I do not blame singles for feeling the sting of Valentine's day cause the media slams it in our face and the overly happy Facebook statues that are mushy does get to you at points. Today however, lets celebrate being single. I always celebrate Valentine's day with my girlfriends or sisters. Having an attitude of celebration and not self-pity really makes our day great. If you ain't feeling like celebrating....perhaps one (or a few or all) of these quotes by Mandy Hale (aka 'The Single Woman') will speak to you. She named this '14 Reasons to Celebrate your Singleness this Valentines Day'. Some of the reasons gave me the 'hey! Thats exactly how I feel!' moment. By the way, my personal favourites are number 9 and 14. To be honest, it is not always easy being single especially when most of my friends are not in that stage of life. Having said that - I have never enjoyed this stage more than now. These quotes are just a fun way to celebrate this stage of life. The reasons to celebrate your singleness this Valentine's Day is:

1. Because you're so brave, you'd rather walk alone than with someone who is unworthy of you.
2. Because you realize that you are the cake & a relationship is the icing.....& with or without the icing, a cake is still a cake.
3. Because you've created a life that you love & feel no need to be rescued from.
4. Because you pay your own bills, plan your own day, chart your own path & make your own way.
5. Because you love when you're ready......not because you're lonely.
6. Because you live life on your terms.....& you don't apologize.
7. Because you know that YOU have to learn to love you before you ask someone else to.
8. Because "good enough" isn't good enough for you.
9. Because you've decided that whether or not love ever arrives you're going to thrive.
10. Because your happiness, worth & self-confidence is not dependent on your relationship status.
11. Because you trust in God's perfect timing, you know that every moment of wait if preparing you for the one you're waiting for.
12. Because for you, settling is not an option.
13. Because you know it's no one's job to complete you, fix you, or validate you. It takes a healthy 'me' to create a healthy 'we'. 
14. Because before you're ready to wear a diamond, you want to become one.

Singleness is a journey and marriage is NOT a destination. It is just another different journey. Hale describes it as 'a wild, beautiful, colourful journey'. I believe that journey is dependent on what you choose to believe, your words and actions. Love the journey you are on....never regret not celebrating every stage of life.

Lets celebrate! 

Me :)

'What am I forgiven for?'

Psalms 103:10 – He has not dealt with us according to our sins,

Nor punished us according to our iniquities.

I am chosen. Wait you do not get it….*pause*…..I – AM - CHOSEN. The God of the universe wants me. He chose to bestow His grace on me! I do not deserve it. None of us deserve it. If I was suppose to write my sins out…..I would be a definite candidate for a sinner. We all are. You may say “I am not a sinner. I do good things”. I’ll save you the time… ‘have you ever had a bad thought of a person or want something that is not yours?’ You may think that is nothing…..but that is the standard….anything that is bad is sin. High standards? You need to understand that because God is good, anything less than good is not what a good God should condone right? I’m currently reading a book by Ray Comfort called “Hell’s Best Kept Secret” (got to love the title!). The writer blew me away with the way he brings an understanding to the problems we have in church today. The focus is on how the Law was not given for men to save themselves (like the pharisees) but as a measure of just how desperately we need God. “The Law:

1. shows us our guilt before God and stops us from justifying ourselves.

2. brings to us the knowledge of sin.

3. defines sin and the depth of our sin. The apostle Paul didn’t even know what sin was, until the Law told him! (Romans 7:7)

4. was designed for the very purpose of bringing men and women to Christ”. The Law shows us how far we are from being righteous without Christ, therefore leading us to Christ always. 

"Do we then make void the law through faith? 

Certainly not! On the contrary, we establish the law" (Romans 3:31)

If we did not have the Law, we would not be grateful for what Jesus did for us on that cross and how He overcame sin. The writer sums the chapter up by saying that churches should stop preaching man-centered or feel good sermons but preach the standard that God has set (yes, the Law) as a wake up call to just how much we need the grace and mercy of God. We link the Law to being bad cause the pharisees were the ‘bad guys’. But here is the thing, God used the Law to set the standard. If we did not know the standard (the Law or the right thing to do), there would be no boundaries. Boundaries keep us from drowning. 'God's moral laws are not abolished by the gospel of Christ. Rather, the whole plan of salvation, including Christ's obeying the Law for us and dying to pay the penalty for our breaking the law, shows that God's moral standards are eternally valid' (from NKJV study bible). Hell’s best kept secret is that the Law needs to be preached for people to understand true repentance. 

When God looks at me, He does not see my sins and iniquities. He sees the woman of God He has called me to be. The blood of Jesus covers a multitude of sin. My question to you is, “do you truly understand what you have been forgiven for?”. Look at the standard set and realise that you have been forgiven much (just take sometime to stop and think). It includes the little white lies, the bad thoughts, our self-centeredness, our laziness, our disobedience, etc. Jesus was sent as our role model and no matter what religion people are, they acknowledge the sinless and perfect nature of Christ. Christians are not perfect, we are forgiven and desperate for the power of our perfect God to work in us. That’s when you realise just how much our God loves us and how amazing His grace and mercy is. He has called us Children of God. Understand the Law, you’ll begin to understand a little of the huge price that was paid.

Distractions!

Things (including thoughts) that keep you from your purpose, goal, aim or just something you need to get done. Your distractions. Sometimes those distractions could be ‘things that you need’ or ‘good things’ like work, spending time with people you love, studying, church activities. Sometimes those distractions are ‘things you want’, ‘useless but enjoyable things’, ‘not good things but you just got to do it’, etc. Like the internet (games, Facebook), phone, your friends, partying, shopping. I am not saying some of these are bad but excessive use or time wasted doing them is bad. All these things can be distractions. If you are a student, when studying – having your handphone next to you or the chat section on Facebook on is allowing distractions. Tempting yourself when it is going to be a losing battle. I write this as a person who has been so distracted with work. When I’m taking a break from it, I turn to a movie, friends or sleep. Cause hey, I need time out! It is like the psalmist said in Psalms 7:15 “He made a pit and dug it out, and has fallen into the ditch which he made”.

With my new year, striking a balance in my life has been tough. It took a good wake up call for me to pay attention to my ‘spending time with God at my own convenience’ habit. I started the year telling myself, ‘in whatever you do, do not let anything take precedence when it comes to your relationship with God’. And of course, that was my first big test for the year. I am not sure if you spend time with God only when you have the time like you are doing Him a favor, you pray only when you need something or you pray just for blessings for yourself, family and work. I pray that all of us desire to continue to reach a higher level in our relationship with God and learn not to just ask but praise and thank Him for the Awesome God that He is. We are called to be salt of the earth and light of the world. Our aim is not only having a deep relationship with God but reaching out to the lost and dying world. Distractions come in many forms – do not let it deceive you. If you are praying and seeking the Lord, the Holy Spirit will speak to you of the things that consume your thoughts and time. Let us bow and submit our heart, minds, will and emotions to God and He will raise us up on wings like eagles. So to all my lovely readers, let us rise and take our place. With purpose and destiny, make the step to give up things that are distracting or change our prioritize to put God first and everything else after Him. Change is hard but so amazingly worth it when its for Him. I assure you, your life will be transformed.

My prayer for you is that you be “like a tree planted by the water, that brings forth its fruit in season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever you do will prosper” (Psalms 1:3). Water represents the Word of God. When you are planted in His Word, you will bring forth fruit with leaves that will grow/flourish and whatever you do will prosper. Oh such wisdom! Remember the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Rise!

Have a great week.

Me x

Change, you give me the heebie-jeebies!

Change is a constant. I made my new years resolution but sometimes the challenges of the new year make the difficulties of the last year seem like a walk in the park. Ever felt like that? I'm not sure about you - but God is stretching me. Its a rather difficult and sometimes painful process of refining that requires a change in the way I look at my situations and circumstances. As James says "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing", James 1:2-4. In my personal walk, the promise of Isaiah 54:2-5 causes my spirit to soar but my soul to be crippled by the fear of the process. The promise that He will:

“Enlarge the place of your tent,

stretch your tent curtains wide,

do not hold back;

lengthen your cords,

strengthen your stakes.

For you will spread out to the right and to the left;

your descendants will dispossess nations

and settle in their desolate cities."

“Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.

Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.

You will forget the shame of your youth

and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

For your Maker is your husband—

the Lord Almighty is his name—

the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;

He is called the God of all the earth." --- Isaiah 54:2-5.

The words 'do not be afraid' were given to men and women in the Bible before something big happened. Mary, Joshua, Joseph, etc. I also realise that they had great faith for the unprecedented events that they had been placed center-stage in. These lives show me that through Christ, all things are possible. Trusting and holding on to the promise of having a greater influence and having God with me through it all is where I find strength. The knowledge that His grace will always see me through is what I keep in my heart. My new years resolution is to have an intimate relationship with my Saviour, be a person that is changed beautifully inside-out and equipped for His good work. Having tons of fun in the process is a given ;).