More than just me....

Death is not something I am afraid of. Honestly, I fear losing someone I love but not dying. I am so sure where I will go when I pass on but not having someone I love in my life here on earth….makes me wonder how I would cope. I know I will be fine but learning to deal with loss is hard. The more I think of it, I know that such a loss would test my trust in the Lord. This week, a young-28 year old teacher from my school died in his sleep due to a heart attack. It was as though a dark cloud had covered the school as we were all in shock and realised just how our lives are so fragile. Many teachers and students mourned his death…..the thought that they would never see him walk into their staffroom or classroom…never see him smile and say hi again. More than that, I wondered how his family members coped with the sudden death. We all knew it was most difficult for them. While so many things crossed our minds, I knew he went to be with the Lord. He is in a much better place.

Life is short. In this teacher’s case…it was a bit too short. I began to look back at my own life and realised that if I died tomorrow, there were things I would desperately want to do before (I know…to think of my own death is very morbid..haha). These things had nothing to do with the list of things I want to do at some point in my life like travelling to certain countries, bungee jump or swim with dolphins. I believe heaven has more wonderful things than what we have on earth. The things I want to do if I knew life would end tomorrow (gosh even typing it is weird) are with the people I love and also the people that I hurt or hurt me. To say ‘I love you’ and ‘thank you’ and do things that I know people I love want to do with me. To the ones I hurt, I want to say “I am so sorry for being a jerk” or a stumbling block to a better version of themselves. To the ones that hurt me, I want to let go of the offense ..cause it is not worth keeping that hurt. I believe these things matter especially asking for forgiveness from those we hurt. It makes a difference to them. I realise that my pride can deter the growth or discovery of Jesus of another. How can I be a light when I cannot ask for forgiveness or forgive another? Christianity shows, through the example of Jesus, that my life is more than me…..its all about Jesus. To reflect Jesus is to die to self. Sounds painful, but it is not painful if you trust God. If you knew you would not be here tomorrow, what would you do? Why not do that today? Just a thought ;)