Confessions of a ‘Recovering Perfectionist’

My perfectionist-self finds comfort in order and makes little space for spontaneity. This is based on self-analysis and thankfully its something that is changing. As a ‘Recovering Perfectionist’, part of my remedy is confessing and asking God to heal and save me from this ‘condition’ especially when I get upset when someone (even myself) messes with my ‘perfectly-planned’ schedule or if my plans for my future do not turn out the way I want it to. I have a goal I am working towards. My aim in life is to seek to put Christ first in EVERYTHING and ANYTHING in my life (inspired by Matt 6:33(a)). Had to use the capitals to get the message across, in case you missed it. Letting go and trusting God is my word in season. As I told someone the other day, it is a sin not to trust God because it proves our lack of belief in Him.

Time is of the essence. Everything points to the second coming of Christ. But I must always remember that the way God does things is different from me and therefore I must align my will, emotion, heart and mind to His will for my life. I must do it everyday cause sometimes I can go pretty off tangent. I feel things must move at a certain pace (usually fast) when most times in the Kingdom of God, growth is slow. Notice how the bible uses the growth of a seed to a plant/tree as an analogy. That process is not overnight. A farmer plants the seed and waits. In that season of waiting, the farmer waters and cares for the plant in faith that the little seed will produce a beautiful plant that bears much fruit. During the growth, the plant needs to be pruned, trimmed and in some cases cut down, totally uprooted or it just dies. I’m sharing all these things cause even though I have known this, I need to be reminded not to go ahead of God but walk with Him through life. Trust Him as there is a time and season for everything. I’m learning not to take matters into my own hands. I find comfort in the scripture in Ecclesiastes.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-14

"There is a time for everything,

    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die,

    a time to plant and a time to uproot,

    a time to kill and a time to heal,

    a time to tear down and a time to build,

    a time to weep and a time to laugh,

    a time to mourn and a time to dance,

    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

    a time to search and a time to give up,

    a time to keep and a time to throw away,

    a time to tear and a time to mend,

    a time to be silent and a time to speak,

    a time to love and a time to hate,

    a time for war and a time for peace.

What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear Him."

I will end this with the Word to minister to you. Prayer is essential as it moves the hand of God. As a recovering perfectionist, my advice to you is not to control everything in the known universe. Time is in His hands. Seek Him and let Him lead and guide you. All moves according to His time.

Shalini x