More than just me....

Death is not something I am afraid of. Honestly, I fear losing someone I love but not dying. I am so sure where I will go when I pass on but not having someone I love in my life here on earth….makes me wonder how I would cope. I know I will be fine but learning to deal with loss is hard. The more I think of it, I know that such a loss would test my trust in the Lord. This week, a young-28 year old teacher from my school died in his sleep due to a heart attack. It was as though a dark cloud had covered the school as we were all in shock and realised just how our lives are so fragile. Many teachers and students mourned his death…..the thought that they would never see him walk into their staffroom or classroom…never see him smile and say hi again. More than that, I wondered how his family members coped with the sudden death. We all knew it was most difficult for them. While so many things crossed our minds, I knew he went to be with the Lord. He is in a much better place.

Life is short. In this teacher’s case…it was a bit too short. I began to look back at my own life and realised that if I died tomorrow, there were things I would desperately want to do before (I know…to think of my own death is very morbid..haha). These things had nothing to do with the list of things I want to do at some point in my life like travelling to certain countries, bungee jump or swim with dolphins. I believe heaven has more wonderful things than what we have on earth. The things I want to do if I knew life would end tomorrow (gosh even typing it is weird) are with the people I love and also the people that I hurt or hurt me. To say ‘I love you’ and ‘thank you’ and do things that I know people I love want to do with me. To the ones I hurt, I want to say “I am so sorry for being a jerk” or a stumbling block to a better version of themselves. To the ones that hurt me, I want to let go of the offense ..cause it is not worth keeping that hurt. I believe these things matter especially asking for forgiveness from those we hurt. It makes a difference to them. I realise that my pride can deter the growth or discovery of Jesus of another. How can I be a light when I cannot ask for forgiveness or forgive another? Christianity shows, through the example of Jesus, that my life is more than me…..its all about Jesus. To reflect Jesus is to die to self. Sounds painful, but it is not painful if you trust God. If you knew you would not be here tomorrow, what would you do? Why not do that today? Just a thought ;)

Giving even when you do not feel like it

“When in need of refreshment,

it isn’t easy to think of the needs of others……instead of

praying for my own comfort and satisfaction,

I ask the Lord to enable me to give to others,

an amazing thing happens –

I find my own needs wonderfully met” – Elisabeth Elliot.

I have learnt (still learning) how to give through the lives of my own family members. My parents named our home “Ephphatha”, which means “be opened”, and live up to the name. With love and warmth, my parents always have food to serve (sometimes its a miracle how we have enough to feed everyone), lots of smiles and never let anyone feel unwelcome. My sisters and some of my family members have also been that example to me. Their giving is contagious and I love that! :) I read the statement above by Elisabeth Elliot in one of my devotions and realised how true it is even in my own life. When I take the focus off me and on blessing someone else, I find my own needs met. Psalms 28:27 says, “He who gives to the poor will not lack, But he who hides his eyes will have many curses”. If you are one who does not know how to bless, you will find that you are an unsatisfied person. But as soon as you go against your own fears and sin nature and begin to give, you break strongholds in your life. Sometimes giving first begins with trusting God, by obeying His Word, that ‘you will reap what you sow’, ‘what you give will be given back to you’, etc. and then He does something in your heart causing strongholds over your heart to break. Strongholds such as love of money, fear of the future, inability to trust God, etc.

In todays world, we find that the media, therapists, self-help books, etc. tell us to focus on ourselves. It says “do everything to help yourself cause no one else will do it”. Yes, it is important to improve oneself but the focus should never be you. We cannot save ourselves….only pride believes that we can save ourselves. As a person that has accepted Jesus, we have received the freedom and liberty through the death and ressurection of Jesus…..He did something for us that we could not do for ourselves. He saved us. Christianity is based on love. Through the love we have received, we are able to give. Sometimes, bearing the burden of our friend frees us from things that hold us down in our own lives. By giving with sincerity, God promises blessings. 

Dedicated to my girlfriends x

This blog is dedicated to my favourite girls :). I couldn't fit all of them in the picture below....but I tried. To my sisters (my best friends!), cousins, fantabulous close girlfriends and the girlies that have been such great people to be around. I have found a special blend of lovely women in my life that have made this life so much easier and entertaining. Especially my sisters who know all my faults and strengths and still love me! They are my best friends cause they are most happy when I am happy and not afraid to tell me if I am wrong (even when I am so insistent that I am right). Through it all I know they are always looking out for me.

To my cousins and close girlfriends who bring out my best and different sides of me. We’ve had many amazing memories together. Thanks for forgiving me when I fall short and sometimes neglect spending time with you. We have spent countless hours over coffee, watching movies, having girlie chats, trying to get fit, cooking, shopping, travelling together, arguing for silly reasons and making up, studying together, taking long drives, etc. Some of us now lead very different lives but when we are together it is as though we never parted. I am blessed to have you ladies in my life and I thank God for you. 

Shalini xx

** Learning to be the light **

Last Sunday was so exciting…..I did my first ever sharing during the main service in church. Yes, a sermon! It was so exciting and terrifying all at the same time! I knew it was a great responsibility and that not everyone gets an opportunity like this. Even as I share, I still feel excited for what God is doing. When I was first told that I would be doing the sharing for our “Youth Sunday Service” (its when the youths in church take over the main service and give the adults a break) two weeks prior, I was naturally so nervous. My first few thoughts were “what would I say?”, “could I speak for an hour!?”, “I don’t think I’m ready for this!”. But it was simply amazing cause I had a peace about it even then. I knew everything would turn out which was not something I would usually do. And yes, God met me where I was to encourage me cause all I wanted was a sign about the topic I was going to talk about. The word ‘authority’ kept popping up in my mind. Not an easy topic to talk about….especially since I am a single 28 year old. At first, I thought I got the wrong topic cause it is such a big topic to take on. But God works differently….He wanted me to depend on Him for the knowledge. The Lord did not just give me one or two words/signs…..there were about 6 words/signs to confirm (through devotion, people). God knows I am an amatuer at this. Yet He bestowed the opportunity on me to tell His people something about ‘authority in the family’. Without even realizing it, I was sharing that topic on Father’s Day!! What were the odds of that happening! How He just plans everything so perfectly…..I am still in awe of how perfectly He times everything.

I’m learning everyday how to trust and obey the Lord and let go of the things I hold dear by handing it to Him. The more I trust and obey, the more I fall in love with Him. And now its not just a feeling, it has become a lifestyle. I do not know when that happened….it just developed over time. Its so true….the more you serve and give of your time, the more you love. It goes for not only God but people and things. Some people love their jobs or money a bit too much cause they serve and invest their time and money in it. “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matt 6:21). Loving the temporal things leaves so much room for disappointment. Living for Jesus, I’m enjoying it.

I’ve realized the work He is doing in me as He helps me deal with my issues. I know I should never play the game of ‘pretending my sin is not there’. While He does this with me….I know that He is equipping me by “expanding, stretching, lengthening and strengthening” me (Isaiah 54:2). It is not an easy one but He gives the strength. Everday I learn to rest in Him and take on His yoke of freedom. “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light” (Matt 11:28-30). Jesus also says “I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst”(John 6:35). This blog is my step of faith. I am not just edifying other people but it helps me with my personal walk with God. As I share about my life, I’m also learning to be the light :).

Have an amazing rest of the week xoxo.

Cheerios :)

Rebellion

“For rebellion is as sin of witchcraft,

And stubborness is as iniquity and idolatry.

Because you have rejected the word of the Lord,

He also has rejected you from being king.”

1 Samuel 15:23.

Yikesabee!!….to liken rebellion (resistance to any authorities) to ‘sin of witchcraft’ and stubborness to ‘iniquity (wickedness, doing my own will) and idolatry’….I never quite saw it that way before. The whole thing sends shivers down my spine. These were the words that Samuel spoke to King Saul in which the king replied, “I have sinned……..because I feared the people and obeyed their voice” (1 Samuel 15:24). In the previous verses we see how Saul failed in a test of obedience that showed his proud and rebellious spirit towards the command of God. How many times have we used other people as our excuse for our rebellion. Whether its rebellion to God or our earthly authorities.

In Bill Gothard’s ‘Basic Life Principle’ seminar (which was brilliant!!), under the principle of ‘Authority’, Gothard states that “God gives direction, protection and provision through human authorities (parents, government, church leaders and employers). If we rebel against them, we expose ourselves to the destruction of evil principalities who take jurisdiction over specific places and people”. That’s why rebellion is likened to witchcraft.

While I heard all this, I thought of my parents. I notice how much obeying my parents has brought me so far (nah, nah…I’m not a perfect child). The times that I rebelled I stepped out of their ‘umbrella of protection’, I have regretted it. But God, through His grace and faithfulness, has turned those regrets and painful experiences for good. For those who have difficult authorities, I believe that these difficult authorities are there to develop our character. I believe with all my heart that God has never done anything by accident…….He planned everything so well and also allows suffering to take place (God never allows something you cannot handle). It is all for a bigger purpose. I truly believe that…..its a humbling yet rewarding experience. 

Earthly authorities that have been ordained by God are important. For ‘who may lead them out and bring them in (Numbers 27:17)….with compassion for them because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd (Matt 9:36)’. My proposal for the week is that firstly, for us who are single, we need to be under the umbrella of protection of your father….do not stray from that protection, even if they are non-Christian. If you are not under it, get under it :). God gave them to us for a purpose. “Honor your father and mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12, emphasized in Lev 19:3). If you are without a father, God is the Father to the fatherless (Ps 68:5, 10:14, Hosea 14:3) stand under His umbrella of protection…..it is the best Umbrella to be under :). If you are a married woman, you are under the protection of your husband. Husbands, you are accountable to God. These are God-given authorities. Refusal to obey our authorities causes a mess, a confusion. If our authorities are difficult, perhaps God’s teaching us to pray for them or to trust in Him alone. I am learning not to allow ‘bitterness, previous unfulfilled promises, anger and pride’ to remain between God’s purposes in my life. This act of obedience to our authority…..God honours it and Satan knows that. We must not give Satan a foothold in our life. Contrary to popular belief, obedience is liberating……I did not believe it until I experienced it.

Have an amazing week peeps :)
Love,
Me xoxo

You did not ask!!

Sometimes we believe that we are not good enough to ask God for anything. We think about all the bad things we did and feel so unworthy to even ask. In some twisted way, we believe that only if we have been good then we can ask…..only then Jesus will answer us. We forget about the true meaning and the power of the cross. We have received His forgiveness and there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Jesus says, 'Ask anything in My name and it will be given to you'. I listened to a sermon by Joyce Meyer in which she quoted James 4:2 ‘You have not because you ask not’, which basically means that we do not have something cause we did not ask for it. Of course we have situations where we ask, but God doesn’t give it. He has His reasons….but here is the amazing part….even if He doesn’t give it, He gives a peace when we don’t get it and sometimes the understanding to why we didn’t (ask for it). For example, when I first went to Australia for a year exchange program, I was sold on continuing my studies in Australia. I studied very hard, did all the research I needed to get into the best universities in the area of education and I even applied for a few scholarships (if you know anything about applying….its a long painful process of filling application forms, getting them certified, etc—you need will power to get it all done). After all that, all doors closed. Shut! I cried. A door opened in Malaysia for the first time in a semi-government university to do education. I even got a scholarship. That meant…..no Australia. I was devastated. I went through my first few months of uni sulking even though God blessed me with a scholarship. Not one of my shinning moments…..:|. Seven years later, the opportunity to go to Australia arose to do my masters. It wasn’t that I had been trying for 7 years to go back to Australia…..but when I let go of it, God still remembered and was faithful. My appointed time was 7 years later. When we ask, we either get it, sometimes only get it after a long while and other times we don’t get what we ask for. Its when we don’t get anything that we get upset, throw a tantrum, wonder if God even cares and stop asking. But if you honestly trust God, you will know God’s ways are always the best. Meyer said this, “Ask, release it to God and say ‘God I trust you, if this is what I’m suppose to have, you are giving it at the right time and I’m going to be happy in the mean time cause I’m here to serve you’”. The key is - ask first, now release it and be content even if you don’t get it or it takes a while. But you must ask!! This message really spoke to me---ask and do not second guess God.

If there is something you have asked for over and over again and God has not answered…..trust Him. If He doesn’t give it, know that He has something better…..or perhaps better timing for it. He loves you tooooooooo much to give you something that would not be good for you or at the wrong time. Sometimes what you asked for may not be a good thing, but He allows it to happen as it has a higher purpose to achieving God’s plan for you. Trust God, you will find perfect rest in His will for your life.

“Whatever you ask in My name, that I will do,

that the Father may be glorified in the Son.

If you ask anything in My name, I will do it.”

John 14:13-14.

“If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you,

you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you”

John 15:7.

“Until now you have asked for nothing, in My name.

Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full”

John 16:24.

Undeserving, still loved

Its just been one of those weeks that I’ve been busy doing so many things (some important, some not so important and others not important) and was just finding it hard to be quiet in His presence. I’ve either been distracted, tired, working, etc. There isn’t just a guilt that I have for not waking up early and spending time with God (not in a religious way but in a 'I've not been able to give my time to Him who deserves my time') but an absence of peace and pure joy that I have when I spend time with God. Spending time isn’t only about me giving God my time and getting to know Him but a part that I need so much to be whole. Abiding in Him from the time I wake, to my journey to school, my interaction with my students, collegues and family, until I fall asleep. To be in fellowship with God is where I know I am found…..I am completely understood. There is no pretense cause I know that He knows EVERYTHING about me. To be totally bare and exposed…..and to know that I am still loved and accepted…..that is mind-boggling. I love my God for loving me even when I do not deserve it. I don’t have to do fast 40 days, live in isolation, or give Jesus ANYTHING for Him to love me…..He loves me just as I am. All I do and have done for Him is in worship for just how awesome He is in my life. I want everyone to know Him…..not the ‘religious’ or ‘prosperity’ centered Jesus that so much of the church has misrepresented Jesus as. But the Jesus that wants a relationship with each person. He doesn’t want robots….if not He would have created robots right? He wants to know you…flaws and all…..and not the façade you put up for the rest of the world. You can go to church your whole life and not know Jesus. Even right now, just get away from everyone and seek Him in the secret place. He is waiting for you. You do not need to be perfect cause you will get to know a Perfect God that accepts you just as you are and will enable you deal, heal and become a new man. 

“Evening and morning and at noon

I will pray, and cry aloud

And He shall hear my voice.

He has redeemed my soul in peace…..

Cast your burden on the LORD,

And He shall sustain you;

He shall never permit the rigtheous to be moved”

Psalms 55:17,18(a) and 22.