HIS Strength Not Mine

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"
Phil 4:13 

I read the words “His Strength Not Mine” on a wrist band handed out in my church. So many times we forget that we can do all things THROUGH CHRIST…..but we somehow emphasize that we can do ALL THINGS without Christ being the focal point. 

Life throws us curveballs and so many times we see our Father in Heaven making us rely more on our faith in Him than His instant help in our life. Sometimes when things get hard, its difficult to believe He is there with us. More and more we must confess with our lips that He is there and He will never leave us nor forsake us. That the words that He said will not return void. Scripture is what we need to use to speak life when everything around us seems to show the worst. Power is in scripture. 

Deut 31:6 (NIV) “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your GOD goes before you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Isa 55:11 (NLT) “ It is the same with My word. I send it out, and it ALWAYS produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.”

To pray scripture and hold fast to our confession of faith is how we get through the hard times. It is when our heart, mind and voice connect to God and align and prepare for what He is doing. Many times it is to change our heart, our mind or perhaps our actions — Christ has victory at the end of it all. There is power in prayer.

God is interested about our character and nature not a set of rules to be followed. Letting go of our old ways and taking on Christ ways is a step closer to the character and nature of Christ. The process of becoming more like Christ in our world is hard. That is why we must always remember its HIS strength NOT ours. From our relationships, finances, work to our stronghold, unbelief and entanglements within ourselves — we need to be open with God about EVERYTHING. There is nothing God does not know but God does ask us to confess our sins. That is not for His benefit but of our benefit. There is power in confession. 

1 John 1:9 (NIV) “If we confess our sins, he is faithful 

and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

Proverbs 28:13 (NIV) “Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.”

James 5:16 (NIV) “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

Psalms 32:5 (NIV) “Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin.”

When we confess, His power takes over. We do not stand alone if we journey life with Christ. He is not a distant God but Christ interested in every facet of our lives and is walking with us. In everything remember, “HIS Strength Not Mine”.

Like a Trapeze Act

‘You must be like a trapeze act. 

As you move from one metal strap to the next, let go…..

God will get you through. Let go of everything! 

Surrender all! Especially your past’. 

(Ps. Khoo, 2012)

One of the pastors from my church in Malaysia told me this back in 2012. I have had to remind myself time and time again of letting go. In a span of 6 years I have moved from Kuala Lumpur to Perth, back to Kuala Lumpur and then back to Perth, got married to an amazing man thinking we would be starting life in Perth, which did not work out, and now we are living in the United States of America. Changes seem to be my constant companion. In everything, when I let go of my hangups, fears, insecurities, self-pity, etc. I find God in every corner. Moving on and letting go of doubts is a test of trusting God. I look back with no regrets (ok maybe one thing haha!). I have had so many amazing things happen, learned so much from mistakes and have learned to rejoice in both good and bad times. 

Sometimes I have fallen during my trapeze act — but He caught me in time. There are points I questioned my Heavenly Father on whether or not going to Perth was His will or mine. There I find a peaceful voice saying ‘would you have had it any other way?’. My answer is no. That experience was great and the pains I felt — truly hurt. I still have wounds that are healing. I know Jesus dealt with my character and personality. He still is. 

Back in February 2008, I was prophesied to by an elderly prophet from America that she saw America for me (and she said that twice). Gosh, I could not think of ever living in a place that far from family. I was reminded of that prophesy just before we moved to the US. I believe it was to help me be at peace with the decision or perhaps would have saved me from a lot of heartache. But here I made a prayerful decision before God confirmed it. It truly felt like a trapeze act. 

Here is the thing, I cannot say that I have the answers to the next phase in life. But I can tell you that God is in control of it. I am on a fast moving train and God has paved the track for me to follow His ways and the Spirit is the fuel. 

As much as the year has gone by fast, I have not been working for nearly a year due to moving between countries, I am enjoying married life and being a house wife. All three things that caused me to be very apprehensive before. In all this, I have found God more and am learning to accept people for who they are without expectations. People of kindred spirits are hard to find — gosh, how much I have learnt that. But I am getting there.  

My latest trapeze act was losing my dad. The first man in my life and a man I have always adored. He was my loving father, full of wisdom pastor and security. Losing him hurts intensely. Christ is getting me through this. I miss my father everyday. Each day I surrender my everything to God and I feel an overwhelming peace. I know I will always miss my dad but the knowledge that dad is enjoying his time with his Maker causes me to let go. The legacy of my father’s life lives in me and so many others. To pay tribute to him is by moving on with the things of God and pressing into the work of Christ just like he did. My dad would not want us to pine for him but move into the things of God and continue praising Jesus for His love, mercy and grace. 

My trapeze acts do not always have a perfect or even a so-so landing but whenever I land, there are hands so ready to catch me. He trusts me more than I trust myself. I see more of how He sees me and I am in awe of how His blood sanctifies and renews me into the person He sees me as. PERFECT! 

That '4 Page List'! (Part 3)

** Read part 1 and 2 of ‘That 4-Page List!’, if you have not, before reading this. 

 “Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases”

Song of Solomon 2:7(b)

Rewind. Day before I met Stan. A conversation with a friend from college after telling her about a friend (aka. Stan) coming from the States to visit KL. “Aha…I’m sure he is just coming to visit KL”, she said in a sarcastic tone. I replied, “He is a good friend. I don’t see him that way—lah. I’ll just meet him, show him KL and he will go back to the States. Plus, I’m moving to Australia. I cannot afford a long-distance relationship”. That is exactly how I felt. By the way, Stan had booked his ticket to see me even after knowing that he is just my friend. Talk about a determined man. For him, he thought, “what do I have to lose”. He wanted to give it a shot.

The bible verse, ‘do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases’ was a verse that kept me out of trouble. I learnt to be friends and keep boundaries. Every time I tried to touch the boiling pot though, I felt the burn. Good thing about burns, they heal. The art of being friends – I had mastered.  

A total God moment, it took 7 days for Stan to move from being my friend for 4 years to the man I will marry. How awesome is that! Biblically - 7 represents ‘completeness, perfection, wholeness’. God created the world in 6 days and rested on the 7th. When Peter asked, “how often to forgive someone?”, Jesus replied, “up to seventy times seven”. 7 is a very significant number in the bible. I think it’s cool how it all happened in 7 days.

Day 1: I met Stan. After the first few minutes of ‘oh gosh, its obvious he likes me a lot’ awkwardness, we got along like a house on fire. We did not need a phone screen to help us (thank goodness!). I was pleasantly surprised at how well we got along. Best part, he wanted to really know the culture and experience KL life. He scored 50 brownie points! Lots of talking, a nice dinner and drinks was basically how we spent our first meet.

Day 2: Now this was not intended, but my mum invited him over for lunch. This was when everything began to change. My family loved him! I was still on ‘friendzone’ mode. After lunch my dad looked at me and said, “if you want to marry someone, that is the kind of man you want. You both will compliment each other very well”. Everything inside me thought,“No! This is not how I pictured it to happen --- this guy is not the one for you”. I was convinced! “2014 is the year ‘my dreams’ come true. A future in a new country with a job and whole new adventure. A man from the United States! How can this man fit into ‘my plan’? It just does not make sense. Especially since I know Australia was in the next phase of my life. Way to go Ms Niles, you just made your life so complicated.” If you heard the thoughts inside my head, you would find me much more interesting. I believe God is very entertained!

Day 3: I was a bundle of confusion. Trying to make sense of everything in my own head. I knew my walls were coming down. But the planner in me fought back.

Day 4: Still all confused but now with a throbbing headache. Ever had that feeling where you are trying so had to make sense of everything, that your head just aches so bad you want to cry. I had that! I called my sister in New Zealand, who is my voice of reason. All she said was “Shal, I know you. You seek God and want to do what is right by Him. You just pray and you will know what to do”.  It hit me then. I put God in most areas, why did I not go to Him for this? I put down the phone, prayed and then ended up falling asleep that evening for a little while.

Until today I cannot tell you what exactly took place – all I can say is I went to bed so confused and woke up without a shadow of a doubt that Stan is the man I am to marry. It was as though my brain was rewired. I had no answers to how the relationship would work – all I knew is that I will marry this guy. I knew I was still going to Australia but had no money or a clue to how this relationship will work. I did not know if Australia will be for a season or the rest of my life (I still don’t!). This would be another adventure in my life. It was my usual “okay, what’s next Lord? Bring it on. I’ll trust you”.

We had our official first date that night (fun fact: it’s the same place he proposed to me). I didn’t tell him I knew I would marry him.  Very strong words for someone who was so confused the day before. But I just knew that I knew, that I knew he is the one. I cannot explain it in words. But something inside me said wait.

“A man’s heart plans his way,

But the Lord directs his steps”

(Proverbs 16:9)

Day 5: I was waiting for the right moment to tell Stan my decision. All I got was wait and I wondered, “Why?”. It all began to make sense in that moment when Stan asked my dad for permission to take me to the US for a holiday to meet his family and friends. Everything would be paid for. Now before you think, how primitive of him to ask my dad first (in case you are) -- he just scored a gazillion brownie points for that. Think about this, I had not given him any indication that I wanted to be in a relationship with him. Stan was willing to pay for, not just mine, but also my sister’s flight and accommodation when we visit US without me even saying yes. Stan took a huge leap of faith and I saw just how much he would do to make our relationship/future marriage work.

Day 6: He left for the States. I gave him a big hug and said goodbye. I wanted to say it then….still it was wait. My head was like “really! Wait!?” I told Stan, “I’ll let him know soon. I need time and prayer to be sure”. Oh how much I just wanted to say, 'I want to be with you forever'!

Day 7: Stan reached London airport lounge. I said, “Stan, I’m all in”. Stan said my timing could not have been more perfect. Any earlier, he would have never taken the flight back to the States. Any later, he would have wondered if it would ever happen. It was perfect!

Here is the best part, sometime later – on a very random day, God prompted me to look back on my much forgotten prayer request, by now better known as my ‘4 page list’. One by one we went through it – me and God. God answered all but two requests. All I could think was -- we have a lifetime to pursue those. Amongst many love stories such as Isaac and Rebecca, Ruth and Boaz  -- is our love story with God's very own imprint. 

Our story does not end with this amazing ‘happily ever after’. It’s the beginning of another adventure. Marriage is effort. How it unfolds has to do with the decisions we make. It will have ups and downs, times that are easy and some with lots of effort, happy and sad, joy and tears – in all we have Jesus. It is now the beginning of a three-part harmony.

‘Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.’

1 Chronicles 16:11

That '4-Page List'! (Part 2)

"I will stand my watch

And set myself on the rampant,

And watch to see what He will say to me,

And what I will answer when I am corrected.

Then the Lord answered me and said:

'Write the vision

And make it plain on tablets,

That he may run who reads it.

For the vision is yet for an appointed time;

But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.

Though it tarries, wait for it;

Because it will surely come,

It will not tarry'. "

Habakkuk 2:1-3

This may sound amazingly boring, but I work best with lists and enjoy planning. It helps my high desire for order. However, while I have reached some of my goals in life, how I got there…..was never the way I planned. It never stops me from planning. The only difference now is that I know my plans will change or include changes and I am much more flexible to the changes God is doing. I know that if I stick to my plans, it causes me to rely on me and we all know God is not on the same page. He is a God of adventure to me. Never boring. He wants us to trust Him.

So while I had my '4 Page-List' (as some may call it) of my desire in a man, God had taken me to a place of enjoying my singlehood, which I never thought was possible. A time in my life that I began to seek the heart of God like never before. It was two years after that period that I met Stan. Just when I was getting a bit too comfortable with being single and more self reliant, God changed my situation.

An honest suggestion from my uncle, that led to a joke with a friend that ended as a dare to try Christian online dating was the beginning of how Stan and I met. A sarcastic 'how desperate do you think I am' on my part caused a 'why not? What do you have to lose?' from a friend. Seemingly insignificant events were God’s way of showing me His hand in my life.

I met Stan online in 2010, two years before my journey of ‘enjoying my singlehood’ began. I never had a boyfriend before that. I believed in making lots of friends - both guys and girls, and discovering myself as a person and what God had purposed for my life. After my first, short relationship ended when I was 26 (2011), God did a major work in my life. In that short relationship, I discovered things about myself that I knew God had to work in me. I knew I could not go on in life with my bag of insecurities ruining my self-worth.   

Throughout my seasons, Stan was a friend that would wish me for my birthday and Christmas and vice versa. Nothing romantic, just a good friendship. The whole time I did not realize just how much he liked me.

On his side of the world, in Florida, he had told his friend, Anthony, in 2010 about me and how he would love to be with someone like me. His circumstances at that time did not allow him to visit me, which was great cause it would have freaked me out. Little did I know that God had much to work in us before we met. We remained friends for 4 years.

In the beginning of 2014, Stan started to hint that he wanted to visit me sometime. I told him jokingly ‘unless the money fell on your lap’, not realizing Stan took that statement seriously. Out of the blue, Anthony called him and said that he is at a casino and asked Stan to pray for him. If Anthony got money at the slot machine, he will send money for Stan to visit me. Long story, short – Anthony won money and sent Stan a cheque and shortly, Stan came to visit me in Malaysia on July 2014. Who would have thought a casino? I guess we can never put God in a box. 

After knowing Stan for 4 years online, with countless emails, Facebook messages, Facetime and Skype chats, I finally met him for the first time at the lobby of the hotel he was staying in. I walked into the lobby with my head down - reading a text from my sister telling me that she will call me in between to give me a way out if it was really bad. Smiling at her text, I looked up to a man smiling from ear to ear. I had never seen anyone look so thrilled to see me. Overwhelmed, everything inside me said turn around this guy is not a usual type. Fighting it, I walked up to him and gave him a hug. Stan was so nervous that I felt him trembling a little when we hugged. Especially after knowing him now, I definitely know that I must have really made an impression to give him that kind of reaction. It took us seconds to warm up to each other. Totally ready to immerse himself in my culture, I did not realise I was slowly beginning to fall for my Haitian-American. 

Based on our financial situation, my move to work in Australia, the long distance and how crazy our circumstances were, so many things made it seem like this relationship would not work. It would literally take a miracle. Little did I know that I was already part of a miracle. What happened in the 7 days was life-changing....  

That "4-page list"! (Part 1)

                I am turning 30 this September. How time flies! Here is my big news -- I am getting married on the 30th of December to a man that has completely shown me that trusting God is the best decision ever. That last statement is a fully loaded statement. You will have to read my story. 

               It was when I was 15, that my aunt told me about how God met her prayer request for a husband. She wrote her prayer request of the man she wanted -- her needs and desires. She then prayed about it. From his name, his personality, how the courtship would happen to his heart for God, etc. That conversation blew me away. Every request she made, God answered. It was then that I wrote my own prayer request. That prayer request changed over the years as I matured. By 20 I knew what I wanted in a man. However, when others heard about my requests, many said "YOU HAVE A 4-PAGE LIST!" I never quite liked the word list. Made me come off as demanding **yikes**. 

               I wrote my requests in detail -- I was told to be specific. I prayed about my future husband everyday. Even now I look back and remember how there were points where I would feel a great compulsion to pray for him. I knew wherever my man was -- he was going through either a hard time or just needed my prayer. I knew God is faithful. At points I was not so disciplined at praying for him. Honestly, I struggled holding on to my requests during periods in my life as people kept saying that I needed to be realistic or I just lacked the faith of meeting this man I wrote about. But there was always a still-small voice saying "Hold on. Trust me". The fighter inside me said, "I will! God will provide. I just need to walk in His will". Stories of Abraham and Sarah, Job, Isaac and Rachel were a few that kept my focus on God and built my faith.

               Over time, my mind subconsciously began to focus more on meeting my man and I began focusing less on God. I subconsciously thought that a man would fulfill my desires, I would be my happiest once I found this man. That notion that a man would save me was there even if I told myself I did not believe it. I blame Disney! Just kidding. Here is the thing....God wanted my whole heart.

               In 2012, which I dub 'the hardest year of my life' due to various reasons -- was also when I received my biggest breakthrough! I cannot explain the freedom I received when I began enjoying my singlehood (read my previous blog on singlehood to know more).

14 

“Therefore, behold, I will allure her,

Will bring her into the wilderness,

And speak comfort to her.

15 

I will give her her vineyards from there,

And the Valley of Achor as a door of hope;

She shall sing there,

As in the days of her youth,

As in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt.

16 

“And it shall be, in that day,”

Says the Lord,

“That you will call Me ‘My Husband,’

And no longer call Me ‘My Master,’"         

(Hosea 2:14-16)

I learnt to be content in whatever circumstance. The question "what if you never got married?" was asked. My breakthrough came when I was ready to let go of my dreams and trust God. Completely happy that it is just Jesus and me -- my life was altered. The verse "He is the Way, the Truth and the Life" was so real. My goal in life was to seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. I began to enjoy my time with God in a whole new way. The overwhelming presence of God would take over and I could sit for hours in my room talking to God. That was when I discovered --- "Christ is enough for me". 

              Mind you, at this point I had already known my fiance but never met him in person. A true skeptic about meeting someone online, I met Stan online in 2010 and he remained my friend for years. Both of us oblivious to what God had in mind.....we were both in two ends of the world.....(to be continued).....

Love, Grace and Mercy : Don't judge!

“This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: 
She and her daughter had pride,

fullness of food, and abundance of idleness;

neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and the needy”

Ezekiel 16:49

Lisa Bevere asked this question in her recent teaching ‘See it’ - ‘What was the sin of Sodom?’. My answer had nothing to do with the verse above. Carnality and perversion came to mind. I remember reading about Sodom and Gomorrah and thinking what a bunch of sadistic, crazy, immoral people. When Lisa brought this verse to focus, it was as though something hit me so hard. All those sins stemmed from pride, the abundance of wealth, selfishness, laziness, etc. All those sound so familiar. These sins are not foreign to any of us. We struggle with them. The more I look at it – the more I realise how we judge many things without looking at the root of the problem. Sodom allowed such sin to continue to manifest and escalate, until there were not even ten righteous men left to save the nation.

To live by grace has changed the way I think tremendously. Its so easy to judge and push our beliefs onto others. There is a difference between standing for God and judging for God. We Christians were never called to judge others. That is God's area of expertise....He does not need our limited knowledge to help Him out. But to show love, grace and mercy to others just like Jesus did - that is a supernatural gift. We need to understand that doing things in our own strength only takes us to a certain point with limited resources. Oh yes, humans can do a lot on their own but we are still limited. The gift that comes from God transcends what we can do and is not about our strength. We have access to heavenly resources (Ephesians 1:4 – ‘Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with EVERY spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ’). THAT’S JUST TOO AMAZING!!! At the speed of thought, I can have access to God’s divine privileges and resources because of my relationship with Jesus Christ and is activated through the the Holy Spirit. 

I am so blessed to have a God that forgives my sins every time I mess up. There are moments where He gives me glimpses of how He views things and my whole being becomes calm cause I know God has everything under control. If we all asked the question – ‘what is the root of my problem?’ every time we slip up, we find answers. We know we cannot solve it but we are able to give the root cause to God for His supernatural power to work in us and through us. How can we receive something we have not asked for? We are always reminded to ask and we will receive, seek and we will find, knock and the door will be opened. Most times we don’t just ask, seek and knock once – but keep doing it. It is true that God knows all things, but we still need to ask, seek and knock. If not He will have a church full of spoilt brats that have no appreciation for the things He does for us.

‘Amazing grace how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me’ – those words always have new meaning every time I sing it. To take the dust of the ground and give it purpose – that’s how amazing my God is. Be blessed awesome people.

Shalini xx

P.S I have so much to share about the amazing things God has been doing in my personal walk. Coming soon!

Featured Article: Monogamy is unnatural

I am a fan of Matt Walsh's blog. I appreciate people who are unafraid to stand for The Truth and morals. I believe in purity and I also believe that God redeems all who have fallen short. It is terrifying how people are able to take sin and justify it with human reasoning. I hope this article opens your eyes to the truth.

http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/01/07/monogamy-is-unnatural/

Be blessed.

Shalini