Less than a month ago, I had to
make a decision that might alter my future. In the few minutes after I knew I
had make a decision…..my heart began to do its
usual-dramatic-flattering-ritual. This time it began with excitement to a
sudden change…..restlessness. The restlessness of my heart caused my anxiety to
kick in, my fears to slowly grip me and by the end of it….it held me down. It
was that moment I was left wondering….. ‘making a decision can’t be this hard’.
By the way, all these things happen so fast and I’m either left pushing it away
(trying to avoid the thought of all of it) and later allowing it to fester or I
am talking to God about it. Of course the latter is the wiser decision but
sometimes talking to God isn’t the easiest place to go to. I might even start
talking to God (aka praying) and then suddenly….I unconciously begin
rationalising my options again…..and then its “so-long prayer! Its
‘mighty-Shalini’ trying to save herself again”. We never fail to go back to believing
in the ‘I’ rather than the Rock that is higher than I.
In a ‘me, myself and I’ society,
its hard not to rely on self. But here is the thing…..you can only do a certain
amount. God has given us the capacity to use our talents and gifts and it will
take us pretty far. But that’s it! You need the Holy Spirit and the power of
Jesus Christ to achieve beyond that. I’m so glad that I know My God. He gives
me not just a peace that passeth ALL UNDERSTANDING as I trust Him but wisdom to
know that I function best when I am in Him.
God sees everything in a huge
framework that leads to His ultimate plan. I am in this plan….so are you, if
you want to be in it (remember: He will work in you if you will walk in His
ways- He doesn’t force….you have free will). He knows the perfect timing for
everything. Sometimes I work ahead of Him and then a still voice says ‘not yet
Shalini’ or I am taking too long, He says ‘its now. Walk, I’m with you’.
Honestly, the word obedience used to freak me out! I felt God wanted to control
me! I thought I knew what is best for me (hahaha…how wrong was I!). But the
more I know God, the more I realise that being obedient is for my own good
cause everytime I am rebellious….I regret it and I run back to Him.
To calm my restless heart, I know
that I need to conciously make a decision to trust God (“Trust in the Lord with
all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL your ways
acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight”-Proverbs 3:5-6). End of
the day, I don’t know what the future holds but My God knows all things. He
loves me and wants what is best for me…..therefore it is wise that I just leave it
to Him. When are we gonna realise the frailty of humanity and that God is
ALMIGTHY? We are a work in progress, therefore trusting and walking in Him
sometimes needs to be a concious and obedient decision. Believe me, your life
will never be so fulfilling and peaceful until you make a decision to trust
Him.
Be blessed xoxo
Ps. Read Psalms 25.
As I read your blog this morning I have to reflect on my own life. What you said about how God has given us many talents and gifts but even those will only take us so far unless we put our Trust in him and ask the Holy Spirit to guide us and direct us. That is so true.
ReplyDeleteIn James 1:17 its says "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows". If this door that seems to be closed is from God then he will definitely re-open it in the right time. I believe God has great things for you.
Thanks for being a blessing to me this morning.
Stan